10/4/08

once brought comfort but nothing more
just a lifeless body upon a filthy floor
day after day full of sleepless nights
trying to keep from harm as my mind constantly fights

A Silent Death?

RED,
YELLOW,
ORANGE.
They fall to the ground,
not breaking the silence
as they flutter around.
A silent death.
I head out west.
Suppressing the violence
inside my mind,
watching as I leave,
this world behind.

(i wrote this today while on the buss, after reading a stoy from the book im reading. i think its nice)

:)

Today has been a good day i guess its nice waking up think wow i actually didn't drink last night for probably the first time in i would say a month or so which it kinda bad but I'm going to try and stop drinking for a while its gotten out of hand especially these last few weeks man nuts shit going on but oh well man. i got up early called and talked to Amanda for a while it was nice caught the bus and went and got a new tire and tube for my bike..I've missed that thing it felt good being on it again but anyways i went locked my bike up in the parking garage in Santa Rosa walked to the mall got a smoothie and went outside for a cigarette and decided i wanted to read a book so i got up walked to the public library on the way there i decided i wanted to read a nonfiction about depression. I got there and renewed my library card and went to go look and well the first isle i went down the first book that i noticed just so happened to be called Unholy Ghost Writers on Depression. I got a great big smile on my face and knew that would be the book. it's a 27 different stories and essays from 27 different people writing about their encounters with self depression and people in their lives that have depression, so far i be live I've read either 3 or 4 of them and its amazing its so well written, its definitely something I'm going to finish quickly because the guy at the counter recommended me a book called Darkness Visible which is similar but all from one person i would say check both out for sure

yesterday was nice.

yesterday was nice i wish it wouldn't have ended. It was the first time I can actually say i was truely happy in quite sometime, it's a nice feeling if i do say so my self. I need more days like that i miss having someone to hold.

we meet again.

so i met the man again from the bus in my master/dave master/slave entry he read my writing he told me im way too hard on my self.

people watcher.

I'm a people watcher
a people wathcer people watcher
a people wather a people wathcer people wathcher
A FUCKING PEOPLE WATCHER!!!!
I notice things most people wouldn't
I notice things most people shouldn't

This is what people used to look like

i get bored at work and look through the lost and found and find old pictures i can fuck with


full sized image here